Networking is about creating meaningful relationships. Here are a few tips on building true connections with your Biznik peers.
Here are seven habits I use to build real relationships rather than superficial acquaintanceships:
Research
Before the event, take time to learn a little about the people you're most interested in talking to, even if it's just the business they're in. It'll make you feel less like a stranger, and usually makes the other person feel complimented that you've paid attention.
Be Real
At the event, try to deepen the conversation, rather than a simple, cursory exchange of "what do you do"s. Inquire into what they love about their businesses, since that's usually a topic that we can all get jazzed about. People remember those who help them look like the best version of themselves.
Connect Others
Introduce whomever you're speaking to to whomever walks up to join the conversation, even if you don't really know either of them well. The newcomer will feel included, you'll look generous, and it's just plain polite!
Offer Small Graces
It may seem minor, but saying "hello" and "goodbye" to those you've met will make the brief connection more memorable. Similarly, it's classy to give some kind of a "catch you later" comment to your connection when the conversation has been joined by others and you're ready to move on.
Follow-up
After the event, take a little time to message or email those people that you would like to get to know a little better. You can't always tell who will become a client or in some way useful as a connection, so it can be helpful to reach out to everyone (except those you really didn't click with, perhaps).
Be Concrete
Don't let the momentum die from your connection by saying "let's get together sometime." Make sure you'll actually meet up again by offering a specific plan (eg "I could meet for lunch next Weds or Thurs; how about you?").
Respond
Reply to emails and/or messages within a few days at the most. You want these fledgling connections to feel wanted and worthy of your time, don't you?
Remember, networking events aren't just social occasions, nor are they times when you just trawl for potential clients and ignore or neglect everyone who doesn't immediately ring the "potential client" bell. These are people who are forming opinions of your warmth, personability, and professionality, and they'll use those opinions when they consider referring you to friends and family.
In other words, treat everyone with kindness and respect, cause you never know who might end up being a great referrer of your business.
For more on how to build relationships, check out Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.
Rachel Whalley offers wellness practitioners a safe and supported journey to deep change by unlocking the secrets hidden in the body and spirit.
Learn more about the author, Rachel Whalley.
Thanks, Rachel. You addressed something that comes up for me at events.
There's a tacit agreement that we're all there to make contact with each other, but it can feel--at least for an introvert like me--that it's sometimes a series of hit & run interruptions in other conversations.
To hold out for some depth in even a brief encounter with someone you want to talk with would sweeten the deal.
Chris
I like it, Rachel! Especially the first one- research. That is why Biznik is so cool- you can actually read about people ahead of time. Good reminder!
Last time I went to an event, I knew I needed to hire a bookkeeper, so I looked at everyone who was coming and found a bookkeeper who had RSVP'd. Then I made a bee-line for her and we had a great conversation. Then I hired her! (Shandra Rose) It was a great use of Biznik networking.
Mikelann
Rachel, perhaps you could add a p.s. (to all the other great info you just shared) -- the awkward "break-up" moment, when you've made the network connection, but it's time to move on (and save in-depth follow-up for later). That's the thing I stumble over. Huge.
This was helpful Rachel, thanks for submitting it. :)
I rated myself utilizing these 7 steps and I can say that I am good at 5 most of the time. I don't always say goodbye to everyone I've talked to, especially if it's been a big event. I can see how this could seem rude but I also don't want to interrupt a conversation people appear to be really into just to say goodbye. I can also improve my follow-up and being concrete a little bit. I usually just say "I'll email you" and 95% of the time I really do!
One tip I often give clients is to have a goal of connecting with just 2-3 people at an event. This is really as many as most people can handle if you are going to follow through with a card/email and schedule a meeting. Many people think if there are 50 people at an event you have to meet all 50, and knowing you can concentrate on getting to know a few people at many events rather than many at a few events is a welcome relief.
Good article Rachel, this is stuff we all need to keep in mind whenever we meet new people. Art T.
Thanks for all the comments, folks. I think this is an issue we all think about and have our own awkward moments over from time to time.
Leila, for the "breakup" moment, I find that what works best for me (when I remember to be graceful) is to say simply, "it's been great talking with you...and I want to do a little bit more networking before the end of the night." Sometimes I make a bit of a joke at my own expense or laugh about the process/structure of networking, like, "well, I really should get back on the horse and meet a couple more people."
Perhaps that's not the most grace-filled way to say it, but it's authentic for me to acknowledge that networking takes effort, and that while I'm at a networking event, no matter how much I enjoy talking to someone, I am also working. It's easy to chat all night with someone I already know or someone that I'm hitting it off with, but hopefully we're both there to increase our exposure to new opportunities and people, so I try to reference that when I break off a conversation.
I will add that a more generic, and perhaps classier way to do the "break-up" is to say something like, "I think I see someone I was hoping to meet. Do you mind if I excuse myself?"
I just wrote a tip about the break-up moment, as suggested by Leila. Check it out here: http://biznik.com/learn/tips/business-networking/handling-the-break-up-moment
Great tips! Kinda like starting a campfire on one match. Hard to keep warm if nothing catches fire.
New take on networking for me, this. Good job, thanks.
It's funny how many of the basic common sense things we forget about over time. Thanks for reminding us.
I am just getting started in the networking world and to tell you the truth it isn't my favorite thing to do. I love meeting and talking to new people, but somehow this seems so contrived.
Thank you for your tips about preparing ahead of time. I'm going to try that this month at the three networking events I'm attending. I think that will help with the nerves to know a little about who I may meet and how I want to interact with them. I will be coming back to this article often.
Thanks, Jen. I hope the tips help!
Hi Rachel,
I'm going through everything you've written now and it's a gold mine. These tips are very useful - great for those of us who tend to rush when nervous. I have the hardest time remembering people's names and often fail to introduce folks that I should, because I forget one or other of their names. Now I've just learned to say "Tell me your name again??", but honestly, I was 35 before it occurred to me that that's ok...
The other thing I've learned is that if I know my subject matter well and have a passion for it, if I truly believe in what I'm there to talk about, I am way more comfortable with new people.
Thanks!
Awesome, thanks for the comment, Frith! I agree that a passionate person speaking about just about anything is pretty compelling.
I hope to meet you sometime at an event and hear more about your passion for organic paint and textiles.
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