Compassionate Curiosity: Networking With Integrity

You are at a networking event and suddenly you feel a bit uneasy and unsure of what to do.  No one looks familiar, while other people seem to know each other and are already engaged in lively conversations.  At this point, your thoughts might turn to self doubt, and uncertainty about whether or not your should even be there.

Most of us have experienced the uncomfortable inner conversations about our own self worth whether we are networking or in some other situation.  In fact, people commonly admit that they wouldn't spend much time with friends who might say the things to them that they say to, or think about themselves during these potential times of personal distress.  This is one of those ideal time to practice Compassionate Curiosity.

So what is Compassionate Curiosity, and what does it have to do with networking?  First of all, the compassion part is for you.  When we begin the process of truly feeling compassion for ourselves, instead of entertaining those thoughts of insecurity, there is a whole new sense of who we are and what we can do.  For most people, it is relatively easy to feel compassion (as opposed to pity) for others, especially when someone is in pain, or in a situation of discomfort.  We might ask ourselves what we can do for that person, or how can we help them feel better about their situation.  By directing similar thoughts and that same emotional gift to ourselves, we can actually feel the inner peace that comes when we feel loved or otherwise cared for.  Yes, we can provide this for ourselves, rather than looking for it outside of ourselves..  In fact, the more we exercise compassion toward ourselves, the easier it is to be compassionate in a very real way toward others.

The second part is to feel, and to demonstrate authentic curiosity toward the other person.  When we are grounded in a sense of confidence and compassion about ourselves, the curiosity about another person and their business comes from a real place within us.  We will naturally think of relevant questions to ask, constructive comments to make, and perhaps even contacts to give them with ease and grace.  This approach to networking has benefits for everyone.  We are acting from a place of intergrity instead of fear., scarcity or dire need, and the other person feels valued and heard.  Because they feel comfortable in the conversation, they are also more likely to show interest in what you have to offer as a business person.

An added bonus of this approach is that it can also be used in many other situtaions.  When we are in a conflict situation for example, or feel misunderstood, the practice of Compassionate Curiosity can make all the difference in the world.  Instead of dealing with conflict by using our defense mechanisms, a bit of Compassionate Curiosity can actually promote the creation of solutions, rather than the escalation of who is right vs. who is wrong.  If we feel misunderstood, which can lead to a whole new level of negative thoughts and words, Compassionate Curiosity can give us the incentive to engage in a more creative way of explaining ourselves and discovering how the other person is interpreting the words we are using.

In business and in our personal lives, Compassionate Curiosity can become a practice that provides clarity, information, resolutions and an overall sense of balance in life.