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Share articleRuthann, You told a story to make your point. That was good. It did seem like 2 stories and they were a bit confusing to connect with your point which I didn't get a clear picture of. I guess I loved the story part but didn't get a clear connection to what you wanted to get across. The point of your article could be in one short sentence and mentioned a number or times during your talk. Yes, make your article a speech as if your talking to a large group of people. That's what I always do without thinking about it. I also think your to close to your subject. Brainstorm your title with someone outside your business. Your title needs to be a grabber to get people to read your article. I hope this helps. Thanks for trusting in me. Keep writing as you obviously have lots of stories to share. Jack
I'm Sorry. Is That Yours?
Is your product unmistakably you? And does it help your client base know that you see who they are? Break through the paradigms that hold you hostage.
A visitor sought me out in the lobby of the funeral home one afternoon with a look of distress in his face. “I was sent to the wrong room. That wasn’t my friend.” I checked the directory of the busy mortuary. After all, there was a possibility that he was misdirected. However, the location was correct. Further inquiry made me aware that he hadn’t seen his friend in a while. My boss, a friend of the decedent, said, “Oh, he lost so much weight. But, he looks really good compared to when I visited him in the hospital last week.”
I visited the room and found the family. At my request, the widow shared a photo from her wallet. NOW I understand why the friend was so distraught. I excused the family from the room and went to work. When I welcomed them back, he had been restored to his healthy weight. The once numb mourners broke down in tears. It was a relief to see him ‘okay’. He had been sick so long. Seeing him looking ‘normal’ was a salve to their aching hearts.
My boss, who was not an embalmer, had no thought of him being able to look any differently than his last appearance. Stunning.
I eventually opened my own place and felt that not only the deceased should look like themselves, but the room as well. Case in point…
She was a young 40-something when she died of cancer within 6 weeks of her diagnosis. The husband, crazed with anger over the misdiagnosis, was venting on me (Have you hugged your funeral director today?). I knew that personalization was key to his need for people to understand his loss.
We parked her Harley next to the casket, along with her riding jacket, helmet and a couple trophies. Pictures were everywhere. It was impossible to walk in that room and not know whose it was. You may have heard of stuff like this before, but I was doing it in the early 80’s.
The surprising plus was that the press found out and showed up. There was a full-page spread of this man talking over the back of his pew with the casket and hog in the background, sharing how wonderful his wife was and why he loved her.
Fast forward to present day...
I attended the closed casket service of the father of a friend. The man with a collar stood by the casket at the cemetery and delivered a service that was about 20 minutes worth, but he left out one very important component… the NAME. I could have been at the funeral of ‘Mrs. Smith’, when I was looking to attend for ‘Mr. Jones’.
So, now after 35 years of caring for the integrity of the person’s appearance and the room’s identity, from Harleys to personalized casket corners, I find myself giving the same effort to the service itself. It should be impossible to mistakenly sit through the wrong venue. Let’s talk about why this person was special; how their life was ‘worth it’ and why everyone is sitting in the room today.
So, who’s your client? Are you helping them be all that they can be? And you? Is your mark unmistakable?
To quote Mr. Rogers, “There’s nobody else exactly like you.”
Learn more about the author, Ruthann Disotell.
Comment on this article
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Posted by Jack Fecker, Seattle, Washington | May 19, 2008 -
Posted by Ruthann Disotell, Clinton, New Jersey | May 20, 2008Thanks, Jack. It was my first try. Marketing is new to me. I'm more comfortable just taking care of people. Trying to find a way to contribute here in the midst of pro marketers, I was a bit timid. What I was really trying to convey was the need to express the client's personality; and by doing so, creating an identity as someone who understands the value of listening to someone elses needs, as opposed to forcing a preconceived agenda on them.
As new opportunities present themselves, the very traditional world I grew up in is turned on its head and we are forced to reconsider how we do business. What used to be greeting people as they entered the front door, has become a new paradigm of stepping out of our comfort zone to share that you no longer have to have a 'bad funeral'. it's a topic most can relate to, but few want to talk about; so marketing is a bear.
Thanks so much for taking time to share a few thoughts. I am a willing student in this arena. -Ruthann
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Posted by Julie Wirtz, Kapaa, Hawaii | May 30, 2008I loved this article Ruthann, because not only can I relate to it as a fellow funeral celebrant, but I can see how your train of thought crosses over into marketing strategies.
Not only do I conduct funerals, but also weddings in Hawaii, and there is an absolute overload of websites and advertisements for wedding ceremonies online, attempting to attract the visitors for destination weddings.
How can I make my website stand out from all the rest, for those seeking my specific brand of service? I should decorate my virtual "room" meaning my website with more specific imagery of the ways I'm different than the norm, so I will stick in the minds of those seeking out the special slant I offer.
Very helpful advice! Mahalo!
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Posted by Diane Dyer, Seattle, Washington | May 30, 2008Many thanks, Ruthann! A great help!
